I speak with hundreds of families each year about planning for their child's future when they are no longer able to provide the supports and supervision for their child, most of whom, like my daughter, will need a lifetime of supports.  The fact is, is that death is inevitable. While we hate to talk about it generally, a day doesn't pass where I don't wonder... "Have I left the trail that needs to be there for Lauren?" "If I died today, is there enough money?" "How would Lauren survive without me?" "Who will make sure people actually listen to her?" ... I know that I share this concern with hundreds of thousands of other parents who have dedicated their lives to raising a child with a disability, be it a developmental, mental health, or other factors that limit their ability to provide and fend for themselves. See if this sounds familiar, it goes something like this... "I'm too young to think about it; to if I think ...

There are moments in life where we are able to gain insight through personal experiences.  As the parent of an individual in need of lifetime supports, I have had many opportunities to expand my view of the world.  This time, I have been blessed with the opportunity to feel, ever so briefly, from the side of those without eloquent language skills. The inability to effectively communicate is my current learning experience. On May 5th, I had jaw surgery resulting in my jaw being wired shut.   In the recovery room, I was handed a paper and pen to communicate, being loaded with anesthesia so no one could read my writing and I could see my failing penmanship as it trailed off the paper. In the hospital room, I wasn't even given any way to communicate except my own mumbles.  Agonizing jaw pain and no way to communicate.  Prior to the surgery, I had trialed a few apps before the surgery and found one that was simple and effective. Through a voice which...

In a matter of a few short weeks, my girl will be 30 years old. Given that she needed behavioral supports from the age of 2, I should have known that the road was going to be unpaved, bumpy and filled with unexpected turns.   29th Birthday Party I have learned to appreciate every success, every word that comes out of her mouth and her ability to be immersed in our community, a dream, years ago, I thought only for others. Let's get to this age appropriate concept ... is it age appropriate for us as parents in our 50's and 60's, to still have 24/7 responsibility for an adult child? I think not. Look around at your friends who are off traveling, planning their next adventure without a single thought about their children's care, should lend you some perspective.   So, I say this, as long as it is safe, do what needs to be done to make your life easier, more relaxed, happier, allows your child to be comfortable in your community and if someone has a problem ...

News Flash! During a 20-30 minute stand-off at the San Jose Safeway Check Out Stand--Mother Makes a Breakthrough!    Situation : Mother Taken Hostage by a Giant Red Lobster !  I began to wonder... how did this happen? We entered the doors, happy and peaceful. After all, she got to go to work with me since one of her staff was ill and she loves being at PHP, so all was well. We got the cooked chicken, some salad fixings and were ready to go make our lunch when she spotted it!  This  Giant Red Lobster , soft on the outside, stuffed with cushy material on the inside, who vaguely resembled Ariel's friend from the Little Mermaid but you can see that in the video. Those of you that know me are probably aware that I believe that Lauren has the right to make decisions and to be supported in a way that works for her.  I have studied, practiced, listened and read but continue to be challenged at times over how to manage a challenging situation when it comes to...

Thoughts that might otherwise become lost.: Positive Change: One Method : Click here to see the video. My first try using Adobe voice. What do you think?  Go to full screen using the 4 arrows to view with out t...

Click here to see the video. My first try using Adobe voice. What do you think?  Go to full screen using the 4 arrows to view with out the blog background. This message is Lauren approved.

7:30 am: call from my daughter's staff that a family member was in a serious accident and she would not be able to come cover the day while I was working. So packed up the dog, the girl and off to work! Luckily working at PHP, bringing your children to work is not frowned upon. LG is very able to keep herself busy between the ipad, making lists and DVD's. In the morning I watched her awkward gait and noticed it worse worse than usual. I checked her shoes and tightened up the Velcro.  We proceeded to the car and I offered my arm for her to hold onto, which she readily took. When leaving today I noticed that the left foot kept rocking as he planted her foot on the the ground.  Only the left.  The right seemed okay.  So, I asked if she was having pain in her foot.  Her immediate relief was obvious.  She said it was her right toe. I told her "when we get to the car show me what hurts.  She removed her left shoe and sock and ouch!  It mad...